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Happy Mother’s Day

Posted in Gifted, School, tagged on May 13, 2012 | 3 Comments »

Becasue nothing says “Mothers Day” like purple plastic flowers randomly stuck into pastry.

Well hello there! Yes, it’s been a very, very long time. So, you’re asking, why aren’t you posting anymore?  It’s hard to say, but I think, in a nutshell, things just got way better and the urge…the urgency… just isn’t there the same way it was. I don’t know… I write things in my head.  I see educational-related, gifted-related local and national stories that could be the basis for posts, but … but…

And then there is the issue of identifiability (is that even a word? Spell check says no).  Although both girls have done things in the past year that make me as proud as punch, writing about them at any length would just make it all too easy to connect the dots. And really, with them away and my role receding, it’s not my story to tell any more.

HOWEVER, I have been prodded out of hibernation by one-time reader, Perpetual Dissent.  For those who might remember (or care to do the Google) Perpetual was a fellow blogger, and a rather razor smart high school student who occasionally commented here and vice versa.  The other day, he wrote me the nicest email, which I will share with you shortly.

But first a quick update (I can’t resist).  C. is a high school senior, graduating in just three weeks or so.  What can I say?  The past two years have been really, really good.  She has worked incredibly hard at her school.  No, like, crazy hard. But it’s been good hard.  She’s been intellectually challenged. She’s had the independence she’s craved.  She’s found a great group of friends at her school who love her and who she loves back and with whom she has all kinds of crazy adventures.  She’s had a phenomenal advisor who has had her back and gone to bat for her a few times with the school administration, and, overall, super smart, talented and passionate teachers.  We’re so grateful that she’s had this opportunity to attend one of the amazing school.

And she’s still who she is.  Not suffering fools lightly.  Opinionated. Speaking out about injustices, advocating for women, immersed in politics and history (and Sherlock!).  One of the things that tickled us immensely was that she was voted “Most Likely to Rule the World” by her classmates.  Now how cool is that–after only being there 2 years?  It’s who she is. She’s awesome. And she (and I) would like nothing better than to write to that odious middle school magnet coordinator who made our lives hell and tell her, look at me. Look at me now. You were so wrong. Come fall, she’ll be attending university overseas, one of the top universities in the world, and again, we are so excited for her, as it is just the right fit for her on so many levels.

And M.?  She’s blossomed at her school. It was hard in the beginning, not only the academic transition from homeschooling to school, middle school to high school, but the whole roommate, regimentation part of boarding school.  It was tough. I describe her school as “Girl Scout camp meets boot camp.”  There was some self-doubt in those first weeks. But she quickly discovered that “hey, I can do this.” And what’s more, that she is a top student.  She’s being challenged, but there’s a lot of personal attention and support there as well. And because sports are required at boarding school, she’s become something of a runner, cross-country in the fall and track in the spring.  In fact, she was chosen for varsity and competed this weekend in the league championships.  I doubt it would ever have happened had she stayed local. Overall, we’ve seen so much positive growth. This summer she’s going to have an amazing internship opportunity with one of the Smithsonian museums. Again, we’re so grateful.

So, back to the very, very kind email that I received from Perpetual Dissent.  Thank you.  Thank you so much. It really touched me and it’s the perfect thing to share on Mother’s Day.

Hi there!

As a long time reader of the blog, I’d noticed the rate of posts start to slow. Since it’s been just under a year since your last post, I guess it’s safe to say the blog has gone the way of the dodo. I’m curious as to how your kids have been getting on, though, since I’m only a few years older (I’m finishing up my freshman year of college) and could relate to a lot of what you wrote about them.Also, if either of them is still having a rough time in school these days, I’d like to say that as someone whose 13 years of undifferentiated public schooling went about as you’d expect (I was reading Lord of the Rings in 3rd grade, so you can probably imagine how English classes were…), I can promise that things will be so, so, so much better in college. I’m at a ~750 student liberal arts school that has only STEM majors (a STEM major and almost an entire humanities major? BLISS!), and not only am I surrounded by people who are as smart as me, I’m surrounded by people who are smarter! After years of trying to find friends to talk with about the political structure of a zombie-ruled Earth as predicted by a close reading of Oliver Twist, it truly is paradise.Having work that is hard enough, and sometimes even too hard has made me so much more stressed, but also so much happier. Until I got to a school that could truly push me, I didn’t realize just how sorely I needed to be pushed. Having people just as smart, as strange, and as frankly ridiculous as me has made my life so much better. In high school I really never had that feeling of being engaged in life, because everything I did I could coast through. Running into things that are hard, that force me to think, and sometimes that I simply cannot do has forced me to work harder and better than ever. In high school, I could hardly motivate myself to do two hours of homework a night. Now I’m doing 5 or more hours a day, every day, and I love it. I know it’s cliché to say everything gets better in college, but at least for one gifted kid whose so called “top 100″ high school bored him half to death and who’s at a top-20 school and happier than he’s ever been, it’s proved so very true.I also wanted to say how lucky they are to have a mother who gets it. My mom is a wonderful woman, and she really did try to do what was best for me, but it took until midway through high school before she really got it. In elementary school, when I kept acting out (11th+ grade reading levels in elementary school will do that) she tried putting me in a group therapy thing for troubled kids for a few months before it became clear that wouldn’t help. The school recommended an IQ test, so when I was 8 I was given the WISC-III (if I remember right, I hit the verbal ceiling and scored in the mid 120s in processing). She didn’t really know what to do with it, though, so nothing ever came of it apart from giving me a bit of an ego.She never fought to get me differentiated instruction or get me put in advanced tracks because it took her so long to get that that had been my single biggest problem. I spent more time than was healthy on the internet from about 6th grade onward because it gave me the chance to teach myself and to escape bullying and loneliness. I finally started making real, good friends halfway through high school, but that was more because I mastered the art of the chameleon than any uptick in difficulty. I had 5 AP classes at once 2 years in a row (a total of 12) and those were no harder than an ordinary class as far as I was concerned.I know now that she really did her best for me, but there were many times when it felt like even my parents weren’t on my side, and that I was in it all alone, and it made things a lot harder for me.The fact that you get it and have fought for them has probably made more of a difference even than you realize, not just in the quality of the education they get but in the fact that there’s someone out there willing to fight for them. Knowing that makes a huge, huge difference. I certainly hope they’ve thanked you for it, but if not, I’ll do it for them: thank you. Keep fighting the good fight.-An older (and hopefully a little wiser) Perpetual Dissent

Perpetual, I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU! And again, thank you so much for you letter.  I too am a little, and hopefully a little wiser.

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Under a Bushel

Posted in education, Gifted, In the News, School, tagged , , , , , , , on February 28, 2011 | 5 Comments »

Congratulations to Montgomery Blair High School!  Blair was honored on February 16 with the Maryland Excellence in Gifted and Talented Education (EGATE) award. It is one of just five schools statewide—and the only high school—to receive the prestigious award, which recognizes outstanding gifted and talented education.  MCPS actually issued a press release!  For those readers outside of MCPS, Blair’s Math Science and Computer Science program is a perennial of rival of Fairfax’s Thomas Jefferson High School for most Intel wins.  The school also houses a highly regarded communications arts program.

Here are the application requirements for an award to the school.  ALL criteria must be met to qualify:

  • Administrator shows leadership in expanding/improving programs and services for gifted and talented students in the school or school system.
  • Administrator allocates resources (time, people, money) to expand and improve gifted and talented education programs and services.
  • Administrator leads the expansion or improvement of parent, community, and/or business partnerships that directly support the education of gifted and talented students.

But wait!  There hasn’t been any mention of this on the school’s own website.  No announcement on the school listserv.  Nor in the school’s award winning paper.  What gives?  Isn’t the school justifiably proud of the award?

Hmmm.  Well there is this story in Silver Chips.

…Student Member of the Board of Education (SMOB) Alan Xie spoke with members of Blair’s Students for Global Responsibility (SGR) about the Gifted and Talented (GT) label Today. SGR is working with the countywide organization Montgomery County Education Forum (MCEF) to remove the GT label in elementary schools across the county.

Student Member of the Board of Education (SMOB) Alan Xie met with Blair’s SGR after school today.
According to SGR sponsor George Vlasits, the club is currently working to inform Blazers about how the Montgomery County Public School (MCPS) system begins separating students in second grade. After seven-year-olds take a test, they are sorted into the GT track or the non-GT track. “The [non-GT] kids get very little opportunities,” Vlasits said. “They would like to try more challenging material but those things won’t fly.” According to Vlasits, due to a discrepancy in teacher expectations, it is hard for students not on the GT track to get into magnet middle schools or magnet high schools. “If [non-GT] are constantly told they cannot perform as well as GT kids, they will eventually believe it,” he said. “It gets back to what we do early on….”
Ah, it’s our good friends the MCEF, they of the “no labels, no limits” campaign!  (I’ve written about them in the past, such as here.) I don’t know about you, but it strikes me as rather…icky…to have a club adviser pushing a personal agenda through a student group.   Particularly one that essentially is about sowing divisiveness in the school’s community.
Worse, Mr. Vlasits’ comments are patently wrong.  “They would like to try more challenging materials but those things won’t fly.”  Fly by whom?  Please!  Last time I checked there is no gatekeeping for accelerated and enriched instruction in MCPS (some would argue that’s the problem).  Any student or parent of a student showing the willingness and interest for more advanced instruction ask for it and get it.  Not there is a lot to ask for–we’re essentially talking accelerated math instruction, and in future that is going to be ratcheted back now that MCPS has decided that it over-accelerated in the past.  Plus a smattering of William and Mary.  So please show me this “GT Track” because I and other GT parents haven’t been able to find it in the 10+ years I’ve been around MCPS.  Instead we hear over and over and over again that GT identification is completely meaningless.  (40%+ identified as GT.  Thanks MCPS!)  Is he talking the Centers for the Highly Gifted perhaps?  Well, that program is there to meet the legitimate needs of outlier students whose needs can’t be met in a regular classroom.  Kids who would otherwise be bored and alienated in school. Is that what he’s advocating?   Denying the right of every student to learn something new every day?  Because it seems like the total elimination of all honors, magnet, Center, accelerated etc. etc. classes and programs is the only thing that will satisfy.

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Update Part Two

Posted in education, Gifted, Homeschooling on February 26, 2011 | 2 Comments »

And now the Update Part Two.

M. you’ll recall is homeschooling and back in September I posted a line up of what we were planning.  Like all good homeschoolers, we did some adjusting along the way. The critical thinking class?  Gone.  It just did not appeal.  Aleks.com?  As much as I am a huge fan of Aleks, and despite my begging, imploring, demanding, and pleading I just have not been able to get M. to even log on.  Clearly I am a fail Tiger Mother.  We’ve instead relied on the tutor and extra work she assigns.  M. is making good progress and is on track to finish Algebra this year.  Latin has kind of faded out.  On the plus side, M. is rocking her EPGY English classes. There have been some struggles, mainly the logistics of keeping the schedule straight and turning in assignments.  But I’ve been pleased to see how she’s stepped up and I’ve been able to step out, as it should be.  I continue to be impressed with EPGY classes.  I think the level of work she’s being asked to do, and the amount and type of writing, is far beyond what she would have gotten in MCPS.  She’s got an excellent foundation for middle school.

With those two pillars, math and English, in place, I’ve been happy to let her give free rein to her other passions. In addition to four Lukeion classes this fall, she’s watched countless history and social studies-ish documentaries.  She’s plowed through thick history books.  She’s been reading archeology blogs and magazines and the New York Times.  She spent two weeks glued to Al Jazeera, watching the Egyptian revolution unfold.  And she’s baked.  Boy has she baked!  Baking has turned out to be a tremendous gift.  A few months ago we bought a freestanding cabinet to store her growing stock of pans, sprinkles, specialty ingredients and gadgets, and on top proudly stands her holiday present, a cherry red KitchenAid mixer.  She’s turned out amazing tarts, tortes, pie, breads, rolls, cookies, and cupcakes to great acclaim.  Let’s just say that I will never buy commercial pita bread again.  Most interestingly she says that it has really helped her both relax and improve her ability to focus and organize.  I can really see it.  I consider it a great gift that she’s had this time to simply explore her interests and passions, something I doubt would have happened to the same extent has she remained in school.

Playing against this fall’s homeschooling backdrop has been high school applications. The testing.  The school visits and interviews.  The essays (oh the essays), for both her and for me.  Lining up the recommendations and crafting the transcript.  I think in my posts of a year ago I may have mentioned that it was during a school interview for C. that I looked out the window and had an epiphany:  “M. would love boarding school.”  Small classes with individual attention, amazing resources (archaeology museum anyone? famous speakers, etc. etc. ) and something always going on.   Hence the decision to apply to boarding schools as well.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained.  She would also apply for a local high school magnet and submit her preferences in the Down County Consortium lottery, again hoping for the best.  Worst case, we could always move.

It started in October with the first sitting of the SSAT.  We did some rudimentary review and familiarization, but she never actually sat down and did a whole practice test.  I think she just couldn’t bear facing the possibility that she wasn’t ready—even though she was—because in her mind so much was riding on the outcome.   On the morning of the test she was anxious to the point of physically shaking—the child hadn’t taken a standardized test in over 2 years.  When she came out she felt huge relief.  It really hadn’t been as awful as she imagined.

Next came the first school visits and interviews. All three of us drove up to New England to visit C. for Parent’s Weekend and en route did the first school visit for C.  Driving up north, the leaves turning made me realize all over again how much I love that part of the country.  It’s home.  M. was nervous about her first interview, but it went wonderfully well.  The woman was warm and “seemed like a mom.”  Not intimidating at all.  M. is an easy conversationalist and relates well to adults so she came out feeling very positive.  Husband Dear and I also had a positive chat and liked the school a lot.  The following day we visited a different school, the smallest and most traditional of the schools M. is applying to.  We got a warm welcome from admissions person whom we had met at the Norwood Independent Schools fair.  Again, the campus was New England perfect, with carved pumpkins lining the campus circle.

Next came the application and testing for the MCPS high school magnets.  Thankfully the application wasn’t too involved but worryingly, M. felt she did poorly on the test. The following week was a second try on the SSAT and this time she was much more relaxed and felt even more positive of the outcome.

And then the essay writing began in earnest.  X School is a challenging environment, intellectually and physically. What in your son’s or daughter’s academic and personal life leads you to consider him or her likely to respond well to the challenges X School presents? What do you feel your son or daughter will contribute to the X School community? What qualities of character and mind in your daughter or son most delight you? Please tell us briefly why you think X School and your child would be a good match. And so on, and so on.  Meanwhile M. had to think of her favorite books, describe her family, explain why she’s homeschooling and what that looks like, tell how she had made a difference in the community, talk about her strengths and weaknesses, describe a research project she might want to undertake.  And so on and so on and so on.  It’s quite a process and regardless of outcome, I think it’s been a really good experience.  The college application process will be nothing new to her.

So now she waits.  One piece of good news did arrive late last month. Earlier in the month I had received the results of the consortium lottery, and while she wouldn’t have to attend our base school, she didn’t get her first choice either.  Ugh!  “Can’t this kid just catch a break once?”  I fumed.  But then a few weeks later we got a letter from a magnet. She was in!  Huge relief.  So, no matter what she will have a good option for the fall.

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Race to Nowhere: Counterpoint

Posted in education, Gifted, In the News, School on December 8, 2010 | 3 Comments »

Welcome new readers!  I’ve been told that the link to my previous blog about the recent Race to Nowhere screening was shared on a local high school listserv….

Yesterday morning’s New York Times greeted the nation with a stark rebuke to the message of Race to Nowhere.  The headline reads, “In PISA Test, Top Test Shanghai Scores Stun Educators.”

With China’s debut in international standardized testing, students in Shanghai have surprised experts by outscoring their counterparts in dozens of other countries, in reading as well as in math and science, according to the results of a respected exam…..

…“Wow, I’m kind of stunned, I’m thinking Sputnik,” said Chester E. Finn Jr., who served in President Ronald Reagan’s Department of Education, referring to the groundbreaking Soviet satellite launching. Mr. Finn, who has visited schools all across China, said, “I’ve seen how relentless the Chinese are at accomplishing goals, and if they can do this in Shanghai in 2009, they can do it in 10 cities in 2019, and in 50 cities by 2029.”

This isn’t really news.  Back in 2007, the film 2 Million Minutes hit the screen.  (I checked my archives, and sure enough I had blogged about it.  Seems like an eternity ago.)  Here’s the trailer:

But should we really be worried?  Last week the New York Times’ Room for Debate hosted a discussion on college education in China.  The piece, “High Test Scores, Low Ability” argued,

Keju is dead now but its spirit is very alive in China today, in the form of gaokao, or the College Entrance Exam. It’s the only exam that matters since it determines whether students can attend college and what kind of colleges they can attend. Because of its life-determining nature, gaokao has become the “baton” that conducts the whole education orchestra. Students, parents, teachers, school leaders and even local government officials all work together to get good scores. From a very young age, children are relieved of any other burden or deprived of opportunity to do anything else so they can focus on getting good scores.

The result is that Chinese college graduates often have high scores but low ability. Those who are good at taking tests go to college, which also emphasizes book knowledge. But when they graduate, they find out that employers actually want much more than test scores….

Sounds kind of like where we’re headed with AP…

For years, Americans have been able to dismiss Chinese education for the reasons noted above.  “They’re machines,” we scoffed.  “They lack the creativity of Americans.  We care about the ‘whole person’.” But now it seems that the Chinese are harnessing their famously killer work ethic to meaningful educational reforms, such as improving teacher salaries and freedom to experiment in the classroom.  Couple that with the fact that “Chinese students spend less time than American students on athletics, music and other activities not geared toward success on exams in core subjects” and one can see that the prognosis for U.S. competitiveness is not looking so good.

So where does this leave us?  Throwing every kid into AP classes is not the answer.  I say, for starters, let loose our brightest kids.  Reward and don’t shy away from excellence.  Confront the forces of anti-intellectualism and feel-good self esteem that are often found in the teaching profession itself.  And let’s take another look at the role of sports in school.  Seriously, the amount of energy and resources and recognition that goes into sports is insane.  School should be primarily about… school.  Schools should be trying to do fewer things really really well.  For example, algebra–and none of this MCPS  “everyone take it in middle school but a C demonstrates mastery.”  Make sure every kids is rock solid with algebra, whether they take it “early” or “late.”  Writing–real, substantive writing.  By middle school kids should be writing 5 paragraph essays in their sleep.  A semester for health?  A full year of some bogus tech class?  In my world, they’d be gone.

I like this diagram that I found on blog Headrush:

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The AP Drug

Posted in education, Gifted, School on December 8, 2010 | 4 Comments »

Parents concerned about the crazy stress your high school students are under, look no further.  We have met the enemy…and he is your own school system administrators. The  Washington Examiner recently published article on declining AP pass rates in Fairfax and Montgomery Counties.

Fairfax School Board member Jane Strauss credited higher AP exam participation rates on “pushing it like crazy.”

“[Our students] know that AP courses and how well they do in them are important in their quest to attend the college of their choice.”

“Pushing it”… like a drug.  Montgomery County is no better:

A teacher at Sherwood High School said most Montgomery high schools have special committees to identify minority students who should take AP courses.

“Like kids who haven’t taken any AP classes but have been getting Bs and Cs, or if their GPA is above 2.0, they’ll try to target that student and enroll them in an AP course,” said the teacher, who spoke on background. “They know the subgroups they’re trying to increase [participation for]. It’s not a secret.”

Of 19 subjects areas offered, 50 percent or more of black test-takers failed 12 subject areas. On nine of the exams, at least half of Hispanic students failed.

Can you tell me how it benefits kids to meet this rate of failure?  Why it’s okay to take kids who are marginally prepared and tell them the stakes are really really high.  Oh, right:

But there were benefits to taking AP classes, even if a student didn’t pass the year-end exam: “You’re being exposed to challenging material. You’re with a different group of kids than you would otherwise be with,” the Sherwood teacher said.

The “optics”.  You don’t want to walk by a class room and only see one demographic group represented.  Oh, and the Jay Mathews High School Challenge Index ratings.

So we are willing to trade some people’s sensitivities for killer stress on kids, crushing failure and missed opportunity to really and deeply learn material at an appropriate level.  Hello people!  AP courses are ostensibly college level classes and the exams test college level material.  Whatever happened to doing college in — gasp — college?  Meanwhile, gifted kids who maybe could handle advanced work and yes, college in high school, are often barred from AP classes.

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What’s “Fees-ible” in MCPS

Posted in Gifted, School on November 8, 2010 | 12 Comments »

This morning, for the second time in three years, I dropped off a high school magnet application packet at a local high school (yes, it’s that time of year).  Enclosed:  a check for $50. And I have to say, it totally galls me.  Again.

Now I know that some readers will huff, “Hey!  At least you have gifted programs!”  Or “Here the ‘gifted’ programs are called ‘private school.’  Fifty dollars is peanuts compared to $20K+” in tuition.” Touché.  But I’ve got to blog what I know about my corner of the world.  And in Montgomery County it doesn’t sit right.

The school system describes these programs as part of its “continuum of services” for high achieving students yet when it suits them they argue these programs are a “choice.”  I know that the term “free and appropriate education” has legal standing for special education students and that gifted students, although also defined as a “special population” by MCPS, have no equivalent legal protection. But still… One would think that application evaluation and related testing would be part of the budgeted cost of doing business, of educating ALL students.

The application form does state, “If that [the fee] is a financial hardship, include a letter with your application to that effect to be considered for a waiver of the fee.” (Note the “to be considered…”)  But who really wants to test this out when it’s your child’s application at stake?  I can afford the fee in the grand scheme of things…but in these tight times it’s not an insignificant amount of money, one that I imagine could pose a barrier to low income families.  For a school system whose lens on “giftedness” has overwhelmingly become one of “equity” and “access,” it surprises me that this fee manages to persist.

Maybe I’m just out of step.  It seems that a newly elected state senator Richard S. Madaleno (D-Dist. 18) of Kensington, who heads the Montgomery County delegation, has drafted a bill that “would repeal a Maryland law that prohibits Montgomery County from charging for transportation of students to certain programs, such as magnet, foreign language immersion and International Baccalaureate.”  You can read all about it here in the Gazette.  And trust that the Parents Coalition is all over this.

Readers may recall that GT advocates fought this battle last year and earned a reprieve.  I guess it’s time to dust off those signs once more.

So I ask, are there “fees for giftedness” where you live?

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New Beginnings

Posted in Gifted, Home Life, tagged , , , on September 17, 2010 | 5 Comments »

Okay, one week in and it’s time to post.  Last Thursday we packed up the Prius, C. said her goodbyes and we headed north.  Those last few days were really sweet, capped by a lowkey sendoff with close friends and family at our local pool.  As we pulled out of the driveway, M. “piped out” her sister on her Irish tin whistle, their little joke.  C. came to hate the whistle and made her M. promise not to play it for the remainder of her time home in exchange for going on a quick trip to explore Ellicott City.  I’m proud to say that we did an awesome packing job, and with the seats folded down we were still able to have a clear view through the rear window.  Ziploc packing cubes and super jumbo bags rock!

I love roadtrips, the sense of “going” and anticipation, and I had anticipated this one for a long time.  Our first stop was Connecticut to visit my mom.  C. did about a third of a driving, handling the stretch of I-95 from north of Baltimore to the first rest stop on the Jersey Turnpike, and then from Armonk to my mom’s.  She drove the Saw Mill River Parkway for a stretch and that had me positively white knuckled.  I’m white knuckled when I drive it.  It’s two lanes and twisty with grass to the right and a Jersey barrier to the left, and no breakdown lanes.  Cars going 55 mph-plus.  Gulp.  The next day/night was spent in Cambridge.  And–at last–Saturday.  Move in day.

The weather was picture perfect.  C. drove to the school and at the turn off we were greeted by a gaggle of–what can I call them?–”school spirit people.”  Fun, but C. is soooo not a rah-rah kind of girl.  Or at least, she’s never felt rah-rah about any school she’s ever attended.  She kind of cringed and refused to beep the car horn.  Registration was painless.  On the way to her dorm we had to once more pass through the spirit people gantlet, only this time C. was in the passenger seat and of course we got caught at the light.  Had to have been the longest red light of her life.  What does when do when 50 or so of your future schoolmates are screaming and pointing, and thumbs-upping and just plain looking at you?  Well mom honked the car horn, as bidden by the masses. What else was I going to do?

Safely past that, it was on to her dorm.  We were able to pull right to the front door and several girls helped us quickly unload the car and ferry things to her room, a single.  We also were greeted by one of the house counselors.  Her room is small but comfortable. The bookshelf we brought fit perfectly and she quickly got things arranged.  Her window looks onto the roofline and she can spy a bit of the quad.  Nice bonus:  The sound of church bells wafting from somewhere.

We were so busy unpacking that we nearly missed lunch.  We got back in time for a house meeting, where everyone, including parents had a chance to meet for the first time.  “She reminds me of Ms. J,” I whispered to C., nodding towards one of the three house counselors.  Ms. J. was one of C.’s (few) favorite elementary school teachers.  She had that no-nonsense but warm thing going that seems to work for C.  The girls she’ll be living with are a mix of lowers (freshman), juniors (sophomores), uppers (juniors), seniors (seniors) and PGs or post-grads.  Hard to say much more than that at this point.  After the meeting we did a quick walk into town and which meant we were late for the schoolwide welcome.  Oh well.  Afterwards the parents and kids met separately.  Among all the blah, blah, blah two statements stuck out.

  1. When parenting teens you’re moving from being a manager to being a consultant, and
  2. We’ll believe half the things they tell us about you, if you believe half the things they tell you about us.

From 5:00 to 5:5o p.m. was designated as goodbye time, and parents were emphatically to be gone by 6:00.  When it was time for me to leave there was no drama, no tears, although there were two calls before I even hit the interstate–me to her ask if she had relinquished her library book for me to return, and her to me asking for advice on a stuck roller shade.

To be continued….

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Oh, But I Don’t Mean YOU

Posted in Gifted, School on August 24, 2010 | 8 Comments »

Meow!  If anyone ever had any doubt about the venom that is out there on the topic of gifted, one  just has to take a look author Marjorie Ingall’s (aka Snarly — never was there a truer moniker) oh-so-diplomatically URL’d  post of August 2nd.  While the title of the post was “I’ve Got Your Gifted Right Here”  the URL is http://marjorieingall.com/shut-up-about-your-gifted-child/.

Nice.

I found out about it on a national PG list I’m on.  I hate to give her any more attention or traffic on her blog, but….  You can see from the comments that finally got approved, my friends are an eloquent bunch and pretty much handed it to her.

So this morning, in her post “Apparently I’ve Gone Viral” Ms. Ingall is back-pedaling.

Anyway, you’re right: I chose a jokey, inflammatory headline. Totes immachure.

And you’re right: I should have said that I believe there are profoundly gifted kids out there. And that I believe they deserve education that inspires and engages them. Because I do.

Sort of.

But if you are the parent of a bright or very bright child, then yup, you may well be the parent I’m talking about. I wish you’d focus as much energy on making your child a community-minded, self-directed, reflective, diversity-respectin’ citizen as you do on trumpeting your child’s brilliance….

Actually, not really at all.

Ms. Ingalls lives in New York City, but one could just as easily squint and image  Montgomery County as the locus of her diatribe.  Recently there was a thread on the DC Urban Moms and Dads forum just about how to ask about schools that meet the needs of gifted students without unleashing the hounds.  The thing went on for 13 pages, some of it quite nasty.

I’m right there in the belief that school needs to be better for all kids.  I guess what I find so frustrating is that parents of EG/PG kids have to wade through years of this crap attitude toward giftedness before finally (maybe?) someone will say, “Oh!  But I get, it, your child really is different.”  Well thank you very much for making our lives hell for all these years in your effort to impose some utopian ideal of uniformity.

Locally, I see this tension within the community of gifted advocates:  those who are fighting for recognition of needs of the the truly exceptional kids in the system and those that are fighting for the more numerous but still a minority “merely” gifted, who need to work within the larger political context of the school system.  It’s a gap I hope we can bridge, because we are all fighting in the same direction, and I don’t think advocacy on behalf of one precludes the other.

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