“She’s so switched on!” exclaimed the nurse. C. must have been all of 4 months old at that point, in for a check-up, and already it was there.
“Switched On.” Such a fitting description and just the first of many: Miss Independent, High Maintenance Woman, Drama Queen. A very smart, highly verbal, very active kid. A “more” child. If you have one, you know exactly what I’m talking about. For better or for worse more perceptive, more intense, more creative, more persistent, more sensitive. Just “more.”
I’m the mom of two girls, living in Montgomery County, Maryland. Along the way C. has homeschooled (kindergarten), attended the MCPS elementary gifted magnet (1st and 2nd grade), our neighborhood school (3rd and 5th grade), a Center for the Highly Gifted program (4th grade), a middle school magnet (6th and half of 7th), homeschooled again (for the second half of 7th grade and all of 8th–not our plan), a high school magnet–and now boarding school. A month after we withdrew her from middle school she took the SAT and achieved a perfect score on the verbal section…one of only four children under the age of 13 that year to do so, according to Johns Hopkins University’s Center for Talented Youth.* Meanwhile we’re on a different path with M., a child who sailed through our neighborhood school from Kindergarten through fifth grade before things got interesting in middle school.
To say that this has been quite a journey and that I’ve learned a lot would be an understatement. Warning: it’s made me something of a radical/education hacker/education re-former. And it’s not over yet….
I’ve started this blog for several reasons. In part it’s meant to serve as a chronicle of my parenting journey. I also hope this blog can smooth the journey for others, because I know what it was like to search in vain for stories, for resources to help me answer the million questions I had. For many years I was a member of a baby-sitting co-op and benefited from the experience of mothers with older gifted children. Learning the ins and outs of the school system while my kids were still preschoolers felt like being the recipient of oral history. So here I am, just passing it on, only in a more public, yet anonymous, form. As with anything, Your Mileage May Vary.
Finally, I plan to spotlight and comment on news and happenings in the fields of education and giftedness, especially locally. No one seems to be blogging about this stuff (at least they weren’t when I started this blog), so it might as well be me.
Welcome!
* This brought the lols. Um, hate to break it to you…
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[...] the experiences that brought Einstein’s Momma to homeschooling. And I just found The “More” Child, a new blog that promises to be worth your [...]
A friend just pointed me to your blog and I thought I would say hi. Much of what you write resonates with me, including multiple people commenting over and over about how alert he was, right after birth through infancy.
He’s now 14 and it’s been a ride. PG? EG? Definitely in the verbally gifted minority.
I am curious about which EPGY class your daughter is taking. Our experience there was not terribly wonderful.
Dorothy, C. has taken EPGY W10C and W11A. I’ve been happy. The classwork is rigorous and I like the “live” classroom discussion. That said, C. has still uttered the B word, mostly I think because in the last class there was considerable emphasis on grammar from the sentence on up. The teachers have seemed engaging. And the positive from my point of view is that I’m out of the picture in terms of her learning…it’s between her and the teacher.
I wanted to say hello and let you know that I am going to add your page to the favorite links on my children’s blog page. In speaking about your children, I definitely see a connection with mine. My hope is that I will occasionally drop by and pick up some useful information from you so that by the time my children are ready for homeschooling, we can hit the ground running, so to speak. Thanks for the page and I plan to stop be again soon!
I found this reading very interesting. I was one of those “gifted” children. I sailed through public school in a small town which had such limited resources that your stories just make me laugh. My teachers knew I could do the work, so I spent a lot of time out of class doing other things. I do agree that it is nice when teachers recognize your potential, and agree to stay after hours to teach you whatever you wanted to learn. I learned calculus and did some chemistry labs long after other kids went home. I had a group of friends who were smart; however, only one other may have been actually “gifted”.
I am now 37 years old, a physician, and happily married with a special needs son (8 months old). I have to say, yes, all of those extra classes and learning opportunities were wonderful, and kept me busy. But one of the greatest lessons your children will learn is that even though they are “gifted”, they will always live in a world that is closer to average. Reaching your potential is a grand goal, but is one without end. If your children are brought up believing that everyone else owes them what they think is due a “gifted” person, they will find themselves very unhappy and unsatisfied for the rest of their lives.
I would encourage you to get every one of your children involved in a cause bigger than themselves. They need to learn how to befriend the less fortunate, focus on others, and when they find themselves less than satisfied with the entertainment and education around them, their responses will take on less of a selfish disappointment. As parents, you are allowed to be selfish for them, but let their hearts as children remain big and open.
I looked around this blog and found a disturbing report of a note from a child who sounded very unhappy, almost with a suicidal air to it. This is the risk you take by thinking education alone will satisfy your children. I know my reply will infuriate many parents, but take it from me. I am the adult product of a “gifted” child. I have seen too many of my gifted friends grow up to be very unsatisfied and unhappy adults, always seeking more of something they cannot name.
Thanks for your comments, Holly. I appreciate your having taken the time to read my blog, however I have to respond to your last paragraph.
You wrote “This is the risk you take by thinking education alone will satisfy your children.” I’m under no delusion that this is the case. First of all, let’s not confuse “education” and “school. ” Second, if a child is in school, as mine was in that post, it does loom very large in a child’s life. Six hours a day…9 months…for a young child this is a loooonggg time. It can seem like forever. And when that “forever” isn’t going well…intellectually, socially, emotionally…it can seem overwhelming, devastating. So am I going to do all that I can to make that right? Yes. I included those unvarnished quotes–difficult as they are–to give a true picture of the impact of an inappropriate educational setting.
I like to think that my kids have “big and open” hearts. They volunteer. They’re sociable and have varied interests. And I don’t expect that others “owe” them their due. But I also don’t expect a school setting to actively squash and denigrate those big and open hearts.
I am the Mom of two gifted girls 12 and 14. I serve on our district’s G.A.T.E. Committee and am tasked with addressing our Gifted in Magnet schools. I and my 12 year old daughter chose to not have her go to the Junior High with the Gift program because it’s having its own issues of delivering education around the other part of the student population and behavior issues. So she is at a school with an excel program but often “bored” . This school has a couple dozen identified Gifted kids. I am tasking myself with coming up with ways to address the Gifted Students needs during the school day either in addition to or outside the classroom. What to do to engage the gifted student without it being more work. Any suggestions?
Deirdre
Get them involved in team sports! I to am a parent & when my kids were young, I got them into chess and sports & away from the TV & computer games. I don’t want to sound like Dr. Jock or anything, but sports, when supervised and supported by the parent, can provide an invaluable framework & inner confidence and self-esteem by which the child can utilize and refer to their entire lives.
Very Truly Yours,
Dr. Philip Archuleta
I beg to differ. This isn’t always the case, as competition, though good for some, may quash the hopes of others, especially in sports. Those who are involved in a group, non-competitive activity like chorus or band, however, builds self esteem much more of the time.
Also, I read a Reader’s Digest article some time ago about how kids’ sports aren’t about fun anymore, as the coaches are in it to prove that those they are coaching are the best. The particular story at the beginning was of a high school girl on a basketball team who was yelled at by her coach for chatting with her friend on the sidelines. He told her that the practice wasn’t about fun, it was about being the best. She quit soon afterwards.
I myself am a 7th grade gifted student at Eastern MS in MCPS, in the magnet program. I have been left out in sports (soccer in 1st and 2nd grade particularly, and gymnastics and dance in 3rd and 4th grade) time and again throughout elementary school. I had no self-confidence until I quit my then-current sport, horseback riding (my instructor never let me ride my favorite horse and yelled at me even when I did my best). The self-confidence I gained from that increased exponentially after joining chorus this school year.
I might also mention that in hindsight, my past experiences have caused me to shy away from school soccer, PE gymnastics, and any riding stables.
Stephanie
7th grade, Eastern MS magnet program
P.S. Sounds like you’re doing well! e-mail me when you get a chance: parchuleta@palomar.edu CIAO!
Welcome Deidre. One option to explore is distance education. I have heard of some schools that have allowed students to do EPGY, CTY or ALEKS during school hours. Not easy, but it has been done. (And not where I live, to my knowledge.) Generally, anything beyond the standard offering is going to require some work from someone, be it the teacher or an outside volunteer, or parent, if only to supervise. One thing to check out is Open University offerings. MIT for example has some great classes online…and they even have special section for high school students now. There’s a new website that has downloadable documentaries…some of those might be good jumping off points for discussion. If the kids have a writing bent, get them blogging. It’s an election year…lot’s to learn around that…check out the New York Times classroom offerings…they ‘ll email you lesson plans. At that age kids should be able to generate ideas about what interests *them*. Poke around some homeschooling sites–you’ll find *lots* of ideas.
Good luck!
Hello,
i’m also in the dc region and had almost a verbatim conversation with my daughter’s school last year regarding verbal giftedness. the school offers a flexible math program, pulling kids out of class and grouping them by ability, but other than 20 minutes of group “guided reading” her verbal talents get nothing. my daughter, according to her overall WISC is considered “gifted” but “highly gifted” from her verbal score which was in the 99% range – she hit the ceiling on a couple of the subtests so it is hard to know what her actual score should be. when we requested that she be accelerated in reading we were told, “the school can’t do that” and then given a list of her deficiencies. one deficiency being her inability to relate to the non native english speaking reading specialist they had evaluate her!!! aack..
Hi dcer,
Apologies for not saying “hi” sooner. Welcome. And my sympathies about the resistance you’ve faced regarding your daughter’s verbal abilities. The fact that she hit subtest ceilings means that she may in fact be beyond highly gifted in verbal area. So nice of them to provide you with her deficiencies . I hope you’re having better luck this year with convincing them to concentrate on and build up her strengths.
Hello!
I’m so glad that I stumbled upon your wonderful blog. My son is two years old and reading, which is quite a surprise. Initially I thought “maybe he’s really soaking up the Leap Pad Videos”, but as time has progressed I’ve come to realize that his talent cannot be attributed to the videos. I am hoping to connect with other parents who can offer advice about the challenges they faced when their children were young. Since my son is functioning at a Kindergarten level, preschool seems to be out of the question; however, I’m not really sure how to even begin the daunting challenge of homeschooling. Any advice would be appreciated. Currently, we live overseas, so our resources are severely limited. Thank you in advance for your help!
Hi E.,
Thanks for finding me. I have a special place in my heart for expatriate parents, having been one myself. I have often wondered what we would have done if we were still overseas when C. hit that reading spurt. How would we have gotten our hands on enough books to “feed the beast?” We would have ended up in the poorhouse ordering from Amazon!
You don’t say whether you are “official” expats (government officials with pouch privileges), whether you are in a developed or developing country, urban or rural, among many other parents or no… so it’s hard to give any specific advice. But some general advice still holds. Get online–and if possible, real life–support. Regarding homeschooling…you can do it! In one way you’re at an advantage by being overseas because there’s a history of homeschooling in that community…it’s not considered as strange. In fact the Calvert School, one of the Maryland State approved curricula, has been around since 1897 and was used widely by missionaries and diplomats. But even if you don’t opt for “school in a box,” there is a lot you can do just with experiential learning and online resources. So explore! You’re sooooo lucky to be living and learning overseas.
Just a quick hello. Our mutual friend over at Throwing Marshmallows (from way back when) pointed me to your blog, and I’m glad — but it’s going to take a while to catch up here!
My dd12 is going to be in the Cardboard Boat Regatta at Lake Accotink later this month. Whenever we go to that park, I think of the old playgroup. Best to you and the girls.
Hi Jenny! Thanks for coming over. It’s so strange to think how we met and how our paths have crossed again. Welcome and hope to see you IRL again soon.
I have always wanted to tell you, I LOVE the photograph in your header. Is this a photo you took?
Thanks, Institutrice! Yes, I took the photo. It’s one of my girls, looking through a sculpture.
Switched on, I love the photo too. Your girl’s eyes are SO blue!
J. Who is a proud brown eyed gal. Entire family, in fact.
Just came across your blog – its wonderful. I was wondering if you know of a blog or if you ever write about GT/LD kids? My son has a processing issue – along the lines of disgraphia. He has so much going on in his head – his verbal scores at are the top but he can’t get it on paper. Its been a huge struggle and a high level of stress and anxiety for us (his parents). Now we’re heading to middle school next year and I’m scared about how he will excel but also get the support necessary to help him to continue to excel. Thanks for any information or support you can lend! Thank you for sharing your knowledge.
Hi Becky! Thanks for stopping by. I’ve put your query regarding GT/LD blogs out to the twitterverse. I’ll let you know if I get any recommendations.