Comments on: Gifted Etiquette: Prudie, Take Two

By: Rachel

Rachel — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:58:25 +0000

I hope you sent this to Salon. Clearly they could use a consultant on gifted kids!

By: SabrinaT

SabrinaT — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 01:03:07 +0000

For years my husband and I chalked our oldest up as “just independent”. We were young, he was our first. By the time our second son turned 2 (and not progressing like the wind) we knew our oldest was not “normal”. I was fortunate to have a wonderful pediatrician in Hawaii who suggested Q be tested. Even after the results my husband and I still tried to make Q “color inside the lines”. He was 5, and I thought he would “plateau” any day. How I wish we had those years back. There are so many things I would have done differently. We continued to allow the school to set the agenda. We listened to more then one teacher when they asked ” not to allow Q to read past grade level”. Finally in 4 TH grade I said enough, pulled him out of school and we let him learn, on his time table. Some days that meant 2 and 3 trips to the library. Other days it was scouring the Internet because he HAD to find the answer to some burning question.
I do not believe that test scores determine how “gifted” a child is. Q scored off the charts in math, but not everything math related comes easy to him. I am still struggling to help my son learn. He is now in 6 TH grade and already smarter then I. This year Q attends the local middle school for 2 core classes. He understands that he is “different”. My concern for the years to come will be his confidence.

By: learning w/my kids

learning w/my kids — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 04:32:05 +0000

Interesting post,… I have learned to say a simple thank you for the compliment (most are genuine) and change the subject if the children are in listening range. A few times of pointedly changing the subject and people tend to get the idea that they are not being considerate of the children and that they putting you in an awkward situation.

By: Kim/hormone-colored days

Kim/hormone-colored days — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 21:46:14 +0000

Great post!

By: E.

E. — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 10:49:42 +0000

I love this post! My heart goes out to the mother who struggles to balance confidence building in her daughter with the feelings of other parents. My son is two and is reading. He mastered his shapes, colors, number (1-30) and alphabet by 20 months. Initially I struggled to explain my son’s talent “he just loves Baby Einstein”, but after awhile it was evident that he was indeed different. Thank you so much for the post. It’s nice to know that we’re not alone in this journey.

By: Crimson Wife

Crimson Wife — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 20:38:39 +0000

My standard answer is “All kids have their own unique strengths and weaknesses. My [DD's name] is really all over the map in terms of her development. She’s ahead in some things like reading and behind in other areas. Her pediatrician isn’t worried about it, so neither am I.”

Also, if the other child is a boy, I’ll add something about girls tending to mature a bit faster than boys.

Both of these statements are true, and they typically serve to reassure the other parent(s).