Comments on: Parenting.com Article on Giftedness

By: Kristia

Kristia — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 10:21:15 +0000

Grant you just made yourself something to do with it,

By: SwitchedOnMom

SwitchedOnMom — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 01:02:12 +0000

Hi Grizzly,

Welcome! Try not to beat yourself over what’s past…I know it can be hard. And you’re welcome to “brag” if you like.

By: Grizzly Bear

Grizzly Bear — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 02:23:06 +0000

My daughter scored at 147 on the IQ test, when she was around 7 yrs. old. I don’t know what her IQ would be now, but she is definitely profoundly gifted, at least according to that article about the Davidson Academy in Reno. She’s gifted musically, and academically. It’s been a long haul for her, because I never bumped her up a grade, like I should have. We live in a part of the country where most of the students are Asian, and it’s known to have great schools. Even there, she was CONSTANTLY bored. I made a very bad mistake, in not putting her up a grade. Now she’s graduating high school early, to get out of the boredom, and find challenge in college. If I could go back in time, I would move her up, even though she might have been immature socially, compared to the other girls. Because now, she is very mature, socially.
Sorry if I’m rambling, but it’s the first time I’ve ever written about one of my kids, publicly. It’s impossible to talk about my kids with even my closest friends, I mean, openly. Why? Because I’m always afraid that my friends will think I’m bragging. I love their children, almost like my own, but it seems like they would be offended if I talk about my kids are always first, in everything they do. But, they are. If my kid was a Michael Phelps, would my friends be offended when I talked about my kid’s talent in the pool? Hell, no. But when your kid is a genius, you can’t tell anyone. Only the grandparents who understand. You are limited in how you can express or celebrate the accomplishments of your children. Sometimes it’s very lonely. And those who know what I’m talking about, know what I’m talking about. All others will just think I’m an arrogant, self deluded fool.

By: Kirsten

Kirsten — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 18:55:45 +0000

The resentment is because students at the lower edge of the IQ range are always pushed to do more. “Study more, work harder, concentrate better and you should be able to do it.” Why are we pushing them? Because most jobs require at least 6th grade literacy and mastery of math facts taught at the 6th grade level. High levels of achievement in those two academic skills make employees much more productive. In the social sphere, a high literacy level combined with a willingness to read the paper gives a person a lot to contribute.

Some jobs are off-limits without a certain IQ. University professor is the most frequent example, but there are others. My daughter’s goal career, astronaut, almost requires a high IQ (high meaning above 115, not profoundly gifted). That’s not quite the same thing as saying that a professional quarterback needs to have reflexes faster than 95% of the population, although there are similarities. I would find it more reasonable to tell a young child that they are not likely to play in the NFL, than to tell them that they are not likely to be NASA.

There are a few other reasons. Some parents are invested in their own “giftedness”. Some feel the need to explain the difficulty they have had with child-rearing.

By: Crimson Wife

Crimson Wife — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 18:57:08 +0000

The difference is that I’ve got plenty of objective evidence to back up the claim that my child is intellectually gifted. She’s tested several standard deviations above the mean for IQ, can read at a 6th grade level at 5 yrs 11 mos, and is working well above grade level in other subjects too. On Deborah Ruf’s levels of giftedness scale she’s between a 4 & a 5 based on when she achieved the developmental milestones on the list. And it’s *NOT* because her dad and I have pushed her- we are totally against using flashcards, Kumon, and the rest.

She’s not a better person because she’s at the far end of the curve when it comes to certain intellectual abilities any more than a gifted athlete, artist, or musician would be. No one accuses the parents of children with unusual levels of those talents of being “stuck up” when they acknowledge their children’s abilities. Why then is there so much resentment of parents of intellectually gifted kids?

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 18:32:52 +0000

Interesting comment. I notice that you mention *YOUR* child is truly gifted, of course other kids aren’t.

Being new to the whole idea of giftedness, these comments make me cringe. I wonder if you and many others like you are so stuck up and convinced their kid is better that in turn you give all those who are gifted a bad name.

I always think – it would be easier if she were just normal. And socially only a select few family and friends are even aware of my child’s giftedness.

I’d check your own comments before making such statements – those who live in glass houses….you probably already know the end of that saying… if not maybe you could ask your kid?

By: Crimson Wife

Crimson Wife — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 15:31:45 +0000

Frankly, I think it’s a message that many parents in my social circle need to hear. Just about all the parents I know are absolutely convinced that their children are gifted, when only a minority actually have kids with true intellectual giftedness. The rest are just garden-variety bright but “hothoused” with Jr. Kumon and so on. I just smile politely and inwardly roll my eyes.

Unfortunately, this type of parental attitude is why teachers and school administrators tend to believe that bit about all kids supposedly evening out by 3rd grade. That does a great disservice to the few of us parents who actually *DO* have truly gifted kids. Our legitimate concerns tend to be dismissed as “just another pushy parent”, ugh!